Episode Transcript
[00:00:00] Speaker A: Foreign.
Where you been?
What are you doing?
[00:00:08] Speaker B: Oh, my gosh. You know what? It's been like.
We took a hiatus of six weeks. Wow.
[00:00:14] Speaker A: Yeah. After a three week hiatus. We've not been very good summertime people.
[00:00:18] Speaker B: We're not summertime people. We like to be.
[00:00:20] Speaker A: We like to do.
[00:00:21] Speaker B: Feel the breeze.
[00:00:22] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:00:23] Speaker B: If you can hear it.
[00:00:24] Speaker A: Well, you probably hear it in the form of the wind chimes, Right?
[00:00:30] Speaker B: Yeah. It's not really hilarious. We're not.
[00:00:34] Speaker A: What is that blur? I don't know.
[00:00:36] Speaker B: I think that's wind.
[00:00:37] Speaker A: I'm drinking Pellegrino, Tangerine and wild strawberry. And I'm not going to lie to you, it is fabulous.
[00:00:45] Speaker B: It really is.
[00:00:46] Speaker A: Yeah.
So our new. One of our many nicknames for ourselves.
[00:00:51] Speaker B: Because we are the Shmoopies, but we're also the Fartertons.
[00:00:55] Speaker A: The Fartertons.
[00:00:56] Speaker B: I think there was an earlier episode when we talked about when is the earliest we should fart in a relationship.
[00:01:04] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:01:04] Speaker B: And look what's happened now.
The floodgates have opened.
[00:01:08] Speaker A: We're fart machines.
[00:01:10] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's crazy.
[00:01:11] Speaker A: It's ridiculous.
[00:01:12] Speaker B: I. It really is. I mean, would you do this with anybody else? No, other than your soulmate.
[00:01:18] Speaker A: Oh, good.
No, no.
[00:01:23] Speaker B: Have you ever done this with anyone?
[00:01:24] Speaker A: Nope. In fact, I've squeezed them and, like, held them against all. Yeah. At all times.
[00:01:31] Speaker B: Yeah.
[00:01:32] Speaker A: Because they've just never been that comfortable in terms of letting her rip.
[00:01:36] Speaker B: Well, let the time.
You are definitely letting them rip, honey.
[00:01:40] Speaker A: Especially when there's naked around.
[00:01:41] Speaker B: I think my favorite part about you ripping them is when you always include them in a question.
You will ask me a question and that will be the answer.
[00:01:53] Speaker A: Yeah, but the way I phrase it. Yes.
[00:01:55] Speaker B: What is your phrase? So what do you do?
[00:01:57] Speaker A: Hey, what was the name of that movie again? With Paul Newman and. God, what was that guy's name? And you go, who?
[00:02:02] Speaker B: Who?
[00:02:03] Speaker A: And then you'll go, fur.
[00:02:06] Speaker B: Fur.
[00:02:08] Speaker A: Oh, my God, I forgot. You go, what?
[00:02:10] Speaker B: What?
The craziest part is where you will just rip them.
[00:02:18] Speaker A: No, I don't walk and talk.
[00:02:20] Speaker B: No, I don't.
[00:02:21] Speaker A: Yes, you do.
[00:02:22] Speaker B: Okay, let's be realistic.
[00:02:23] Speaker A: It's like.
[00:02:26] Speaker B: No, I let them, honey. I let them rip. When. When I'm laughing and it's not on purpose. So I'm laughing and one slips out. Because this is one. We're a few.
This is because this is how old I am. We're not talking about age, right?
[00:02:43] Speaker A: No. How old are you?
[00:02:45] Speaker B: Yeah.
Wow.
[00:02:47] Speaker A: So wait a minute.
[00:02:48] Speaker B: That's a little bit.
[00:02:48] Speaker A: So we're writing a play.
[00:02:50] Speaker B: Yes.
[00:02:51] Speaker A: We're in the early.
[00:02:52] Speaker B: We're going to. We're going to write the Far.
[00:02:53] Speaker A: Well, that's the thing. Yeah, I know we're in the early stages, but I don't think we're going to actually call the Farthertons.
[00:02:58] Speaker B: I doubt it. It can't. People won't want to come see it.
[00:03:01] Speaker A: The Fartertons be terrible. It could be called the Far and stuff.
[00:03:05] Speaker B: What makes me chuckle the most.
[00:03:07] Speaker A: Because it's not going to be all about farts, obviously.
[00:03:09] Speaker B: No, obviously not. It'll be about life and farts.
[00:03:13] Speaker A: Farts. And they're. They're. You really did get burned, honey.
[00:03:18] Speaker B: Does it feel? Yeah. Does it feel?
[00:03:20] Speaker A: I feel sassy. Warm forehead.
[00:03:22] Speaker B: Perfect. Yeah.
[00:03:23] Speaker A: You know what, though? The color on the rest of my body now matches my arms.
[00:03:27] Speaker B: You don't have a farmer tan anymore.
[00:03:29] Speaker A: No, it's pretty good.
[00:03:30] Speaker B: Look at you go.
[00:03:31] Speaker A: No, I don't think it's going to be the farther tents. No, we'll take suggestions for play names.
[00:03:36] Speaker B: Yeah, absolutely.
[00:03:37] Speaker A: How about the Schmoops?
[00:03:38] Speaker B: Oh, well, The Schmoops probably 2 times 2. The Shmoops. I like the Shmoops better.
[00:03:43] Speaker A: Make it a play. Like to match the chitchat.
[00:03:48] Speaker B: That might be. Well, maybe.
[00:03:50] Speaker A: By the way, since we've talked to people twice in the last 10 weeks.
[00:03:53] Speaker B: Yeah, twice.
[00:03:54] Speaker A: I say our relationship is much more serious than it was 10 weeks ago.
[00:03:58] Speaker B: Would you say so?
[00:03:59] Speaker A: Yeah. So people are looking for an update.
[00:04:01] Speaker B: And wondering what we're doing and how they're doing.
[00:04:04] Speaker A: I'd say we're pretty.
[00:04:05] Speaker B: Are we solid?
[00:04:06] Speaker A: So I think our conversations are going to be more hardcore after this.
What?
[00:04:12] Speaker B: Because.
[00:04:12] Speaker A: Oh, by the way, we got censored.
[00:04:14] Speaker B: Oh, we did? We did. Our episode about sex and hammock got taken out.
[00:04:18] Speaker A: Yep. They. They got rid of Sex and Hammock.
[00:04:21] Speaker B: Because we're talking about.
[00:04:22] Speaker A: To sexual toys. I'm not going to say that. No, don't say the terminology because then we'll get banned, get gassed again.
And then one other one is. And I think I realized which one it was. The other one that was missing like two days ago. What was it now? I don't know if I can think of was more sex related.
[00:04:40] Speaker B: Was it?
[00:04:40] Speaker A: Yeah.
[00:04:42] Speaker B: Okay.
[00:04:42] Speaker A: You know what it might have been?
[00:04:43] Speaker B: What?
[00:04:45] Speaker A: Dogs.
The fart. The original fart one with lady farts and dogs. Is that still there?
[00:04:51] Speaker B: I don't know.
[00:04:51] Speaker A: We should check.
[00:04:52] Speaker B: Doesn't matter. We gotta go.
[00:04:54] Speaker A: Okay, I gotta go.
[00:04:55] Speaker B: Bye, Schmoo.
